Wooing your partner
Wooing in Devotional Dating
is when a Princess decides to make progress much slower. This can be
done by a mixture of having some sessions which go no further than the
one before, and by not advancing by as many activities when things do
advance.
As the Knight is wanting to go further, his wooing of his Princess becomes much more intense and powerful.
As the Knight is wanting to go further, his wooing of his Princess becomes much more intense and powerful.
Under construction note - this page is a very raw early draft.
The underlying evolutionary sexual urge for a male when he is attracted to a women is to do what is necessary so that he eventually ejaculates inside her during intercourse. As a male's interest in a women increases, he becomes more and more obsessed with her, and willing to do whatever it takes to woo her.
In past times, as shown in many many old books and movies, the way that this was done was by a very long and chaste courtship. In the movies this would usually end with the big romantic kiss, and everyone knew that this meant that sex followed. And sex in this case meant that maybe only a few minutes later they would be having intercourse, and the males animal drive will have been satisfied.
Modern dating is often very different. It is now not uncommon for a couple to go all the way very early on in the dating. Whether this is at the end of their first or fourth date, there is not much time spent on wooing.
Devotional Dating enables a couple to experience a powerful halfway point between the old and new dating styles. Unlike the old style, Devotional Dating encourages couples to enjoy sharing erotic energy with each other very early on. Unlike modern `normal´ dating, Devotional Dating encourages couples to not do everything the first time they share intimacy.
Wooing within Devotional Dating is when the number of dates between first erotic exploration and going all the way is deliberately stretched out.
There are many paths of exploration which can be enjoyed using Devotional Dating. Which path is followed is decided by the Princess, though this will be influenced by her Knight's suggestions, and his reaction to what is happening.
The path described below works very well, and so makes a good example.
- The Knight gives his Princess a foot massage
- The Knight is undressed down to his underwear or is naked, and the couple enjoy Affirmation time together
- The couple kiss and cuddle (with the Princess still fully dressed)
- The couple go to bed and kiss and cuddle (with both wearing underpants)
- The Knight gives his Princess a long session of Pleasure Kissing
- The Princess touches her Knight's Desire over his underpants
- The Princess ends activities with a Devotional Cuddle
- The Princess plays with her Knight's Desire both actively and in Restful Bliss
- The Princess gives her Knight a Desire Kiss
- The couple enjoy Joy (intercourse)
How far a couple using Devotional Dating go on their first intimacy is of course up to each couple. Some couples will find that going up to 5 or 6 feels very natural. Some couples will not go so far the first time. As the purpose of Devotional Dating is to slow things down so that it is all fully enjoyed, it is strongly recommended that couples, who are doing things in the above order, do not go further than 6 their first time together.
The aim of Devotional Dating is to slow things down, so the quickest progression would be 1 to 6 at the first session, up to 9 on the second, and then 10 on the third.
The purpose of this section is to inspire interested Princess's to consider going a little slower than they otherwise would. So instead of taking 3 or 5 sessions, you take 5 to 10.
And it would be possible for a Princess who very much likes the idea of extended Wooing, and who has a willing Knight, to take 30 or more sessions before going the whole way.
Of course Wooing will be frustrating for the Knight. He will be wanting to go further, and to do it much more quickly. But this frustration can create much greater desire for his Princess, and make him more willing to please her so that he can go the next step. These are very similar feelings to the chaste wooing of older times, but this time the couple are enjoying erotic energy together rather than remaining chaste.
In old style chaste wooing, the man would always agree that it was appropriate to enjoy a chaste courtship, but he would leap on any chance to go further. Similarly a Knight will say that he is perfectly happy if his Princess says she wants to progress slowly, but he will still be frustrated that things are not actually going faster.
Hence for Wooing to happen in Devotional Dating it is the Princess who needs to commit to herself that she wants to enjoy doing things this way, and it is the Princess who will always need to be firm that nothing further than she wishes will happen.
Though the Knight would, in practice, probably leap at any chance to bypass Wooing, he will find it a very powerful experience that things are moving slowly, and he will probably look back on it as a wonderful way of doing things.
As the couple are Dating it is assumed that the Knight is genuinely interested in his partner, and is thus willing to accept Wooing. Of course if he was just after a bit of sexual fun he would be likely to give up on the relationship.
In old style chaste Wooing, the women would expect the man to make many attempts to woo her. If he made only one or two attempts, then she would know that he was not serious about wanting her. Similarly, Wooing in Devotional Dating is a test of whether or not the Knight is serious about a relationship.
In the list of progressing activities listed above, it makes a huge difference to the dynamics of the Wooing as to where things end, and how many sessions only going that far are enjoyed.
Lets now look at the dynamic and feelings of ending a session at any of these points:
1. The Knight gives his Princess a foot massage
Ending a session at this point has not really started any Devotional Dynamic. But it is a good test of a Knight's promise that "a foot massage need not lead on to anything else".
Of course sessions should continue to end at this point until the Princess is ready to go further.
2. The Knight is undressed down to his underwear or naked, and the couple enjoy Affirmation time together
This step is recommended at the very beginning of Devotional Dating because it very quickly and effectively creates a Devotional Dynamic - a feeling that Princess Power is real.
It is very important for a Princess to feel this as this gives her confidence that when things progress further, they will not progress any further than she wishes. And it is very important for the Knight as without him actually feeling that Princess Power is real, he is much more likely to pester his Princess to go further. So while this step feels like a big step forward for both, this big step actually makes it feel natural and normal to only do as the Princess wishes for the rest of the session. So this big step forward at the beginning of the session can make it much easier to not end up going as far by the end of the evening.
Another reason for suggestion this step is that it is actually a very fun experience for both once past the initial shock of starting the activity.
The feeling (for both) is very different if the Knight keeps his underpants on, or is naked. A Princess needs to become very aware of her feelings, aware of what her Knight is feeling, and then aware of how her Knights feelings make her feel! Of course being naked makes the Knight feels much more exposed, and a Princess may enjoy the feelings of having him feel so vulnerable. So even if she first has him only undress down to his underpants, she might later have him take these off - not because she wants to see all of him, but because she wants him to feel even more under her power.
If the Knight's undressing was at the very beginning of a foot massage, then it feels very easy for the Affirmation dynamic to continue during the foot massage.
In practice, this step is usually only done when the Princess has decided that she wants to go further. And so after the foot massage, it is most common to then move to the next step and cuddle.
This actually misses out on the fun that can be enjoyed by keeping this activity going on for longer. Spending an hour or two together before the first cuddle will create a very interesting feeling of mutual erotic tension.
Probably very few Princesses who have their Knight undress will end the session without progressing to the cuddle stage.
Having a session which ends without going any further will of course create an extremely strong feeling in her Knight that the Devotional Dynamic is very real. It is certainly a strong test that a Knight is willing to obey his Princess in order to woo her. The Princess will also now feel that the Devotional Dynamic is very real.
Both will also probably be very much wanting to enjoy a cuddle next time.
Note that stopping at this stage is much more effective and powerful if the Knight is not allowed to put his clothes back on until the end of the evening. So if, for example, upon arriving home after dinner the Knight offers to give his Princess a foot massage, and she accepts, and has him Undress or Reveal himself, then when the foot massage is over, and it becomes clear to the Knight that there is not a cuddle about to follow, she should keep him exposed when they then enjoy just talking or watching a DVD. If the Knight becomes particularly squirmy (very wanting of attention) then she might let him sit at her feet and cuddle her feet.
Though most Devotee couples will probably continue to the cuddle, ending the session without going any further is recommend for any Princess who feels that this would be fun thing to try once, and who would like to test their Knight's reaction. In this case it would be best to only stop at this stage once, and so you should progress to the next stage at the next session.
Going no further than this stage would also be suitable for any Princess who wanted to establish a very strong feeling of Princess Power within their future relationship. When this is the case, it would be possible to enjoy spending a few more sessions going this far but no further.
3. The couple kiss and cuddle (with the Princess still fully dressed)
This stage releases the erotic tension from wanting cuddles felt during the previous stage, and establishes first intimacy. Note that even if the Knight is naked, this stage does not include the Princess touching his Desire.
Even when a Princess has decided she does not want to go much further, this stage can sometimes last only a few minutes as it can feel natural for her to want to also undress (see the next step).
As with all Devotional Sex, there are mutual benefits from deliberately slowing things down and spending some time at this stage before going further. So it is recommended that all couples spend some time enjoying this stage before the Princess also undresses.
Ending a session at this stage will feel very different from ending at the previous stage. This time there will be strong feelings of having enjoyed the intimacy as well. Because the Princess has not undressed, there will also be a strong feeling of active Princess Power. So ending a session at this stage is again only recommended for a Princess who wants to establish a strong feeling of Princess Power within the relationship, but this time with intimacy as well.
4. The couple go to bed and kiss and cuddle (with both wearing underpants)
A Princess who does not want to go as far as any heavy sexual activity, will often feel comfortable undressing down to her panties. As mentioned above, this comfort level is such that the previous stage often only lasts a few minutes.
It often feels natural to go this far, and no further. Even for couples who go further, it is highly recommended that lots of time is enjoyed at this stage before moving on to any petting or further activity.
This activity is likely to start in the living room. With Devotional Sex going to bed does not mean that things are expected to progress further. It is much more pleasurable to enjoy this skin-on-skin cuddle in bed, and so it is highly recommended that a Princess who does not want to go any further still be brave enough to take the cuddle to bed.
If the Knight was naked in the living room, it can work well for the Princess to tell him to put his underpants back on when he gets into bed.
The strong feelings that Princess Power is real which were created in the earlier stages now means that the Knight finds it easy to accept that this cuddle will go no further (unless wanted by his Princess). The main benefit for both from having established real Princess Power is that this cuddle is now a very relaxed time. Princess Power is not felt. Instead what is felt is the lack of male dominance.
This is a very easy activity at which to end a session. A Princess who wants extended Wooing could end several sessions at this point.
Note that once the couple are used to going this far, the earlier items in the pathway may be skipped. The Princess decides what will become normal dating practice for the couple. She might decide that getting a foot massage will be a very common way to start an evening, or getting a foot massage may become a rare event. She may decide that she enjoys having times when she is fully dressed, and her Knight is naked, and so this might become a normal prelude for sexual activity for them. Or she might have found it fun to do once, but from then on it becomes usual for them both to undress at the same time.
The next step is the first full sexual activity, which is focused on pleasuring the Princess. Before going this far, the `both wearing underpants and cuddling in bed´ session can be used to tease and create mutual desire for this next step.
A Princess who wants to interest and tease her Knight that a Pleasure Kiss might be the next step can have her Knight give her a Ritual Cuddle.
Before she gets to the stage of taking off her panties, she could enjoy having him give her a Pleasure Kiss over her panties.
Enjoying either or both of these activities as part of the `cuddle in bed wearing underpants´ stage, and going no further that session, will of course create great desire in the Knight to want to give his Princess a Pleasure Kiss at a future session
5. The Knight gives his Princess a long session of Pleasure Kissing
The idea of having a partner who is willing to give her a long Pleasure Kiss without expecting anything in return is very attractive to many women. It is not uncommon for the first cuddle in bed to end up at this stage.
Note that even a Princess interested in extended Wooing may want to reach this stage very quickly (at the first or second session), and then go much slower from now on.
Especially when Princess Power has been established earlier in the evening, it can feel very natural for both the Princess and the Knight for the first session with a Pleasure Kiss to go no further. That is, her touching his Desire for the first time will have to wait until another session.
Note that this pathway has deliberately missed the step of the Knight playing with his Princess's Pleasure with his hand. Because a Princess need only say Ritual to be orally pleasured whenever and for as long as she wishes, and because her Knight is keen to pleasure her, one option within Devotional Sex is for the Knight to never, or only rarely, touch his Princess's Pleasure with his hands. Of course a Princess who wants to be touched by his hands will never choose this option! The pathway described here is good for establishing the mouth only option.
To fully enjoy the first Pleasure Kiss as a special event, it is highly recommended that this is as far as that session goes. Perhaps there can be a few minutes of the next stage at the end, but that should be all.
Even for a Princess who wants to enjoy extended Wooing, it is strongly recommended that only going as far as this stage is not repeated. Extended Wooing may include many sessions where a Princess enjoys a long Pleasure Kiss but does not go as far as giving her Knight a Desire Kiss. But for these later sessions to be mutually successful, the Knight needs to feel that progress is being made. And in this case progress is the Princess touching his Desire.
6. The Princess touches her Knight Desire over his underpants
If this stage is reached during the first session, then many hours of erotic activity will have been enjoyed without the Princess having toucher her Knight's Desire.
If it has taken several sessions to get this far, then the anticipation will be even greater.
(Remember that the pathway of first exploration suggested in this section is only one path from many. It would be possible to make this activity something that happens much earlier, which could even be before the Princess has undressed for the first time.)
This stage is also one which is often skipped or passed by very quickly. Yet the first touching is very intense and powerful, and there is great potential to reap lots of mutual pleasure from extending this first discovery.
So it is recommended that a Princess take her time exploring and teasing her Knight over his underpants.
A Princess who ended the last session at the previous stage might decide to keep progressing very slowly, and to go no further than this stage this session.
But if you are spending lots of time in bed, and he is giving you long Pleasure Kisses, then his erotic energy will be very high when you end the activities. Hence it is recommended that if not the first time you go this far, then at the next session, you progress to the next stage.
7. The Princess ends activities with a Devotional Cuddle
As mentioned in stage 5, it can often feel natural that the first time a Knight gives his Princess a Pleasure Kiss, the activities progress no further.
Ending this way is appropriate one or two times, but if continued will leave the Knight feeling rejected.
A Devotional Cuddle at the end of a session accepts the Knight energy, and enables him to feel accepted as his energy slowly goes down.
A Princess who wants to enjoy extended Wooing can enjoy just a Pleasure Kiss without touching him at all for one session, then a Pleasure Kiss and then just playing with him over his underpants the next session, but after that a Devotional Cuddle is needed to keep the dynamic healthy.
It is possible to have one, or many sessions, where you end with a Devotional Cuddle, but never get more active with your hand and do any Desire Play.
Of course it will be frustrating for him that you do not actively play with his Desire. So having a session or two with a Devotional Cuddle but no Desire Play is a powerful use of Princess Power.
8. The Princess plays with her Knights Desire both actively and in Restful Bliss
For Wooing to be successful and enjoyed, there does need to be a feeling of progress. Now that, following this particular path, you are enjoying Pleasure Kisses, your Knight will of course be very strongly looking forward to three main pleasures - your playing with his Desire, your Kissing it, and Joy.
For extended Wooing, you need to settle on enjoying at least one of these activities.
Both active Desire Playing and Restful Bliss are important and enjoyable activities. Once you start doing this, it is possible to have many further sessions without going any further.
9. The Princess gives her Knight a Desire Kiss
A Desire Kiss is obviously enjoyable to a Knight, and it can be very enjoyable for a Princess to give.
The reason for leaving the Desire Kiss to last (in this particular pathway) is that it leaves the Knight looking forward to this pleasure. Note that another possible pathway would be for a Princess to first enjoy exploring and pleasuring her Knight, including giving him Desire Kisses, in which case his giving her a Pleasure Kiss would then become one of the final pleasures that they would both be looking forward to.
Of course with extended Wooing there could be many sessions where Desire Kisses are now part of the enjoyed activities, but the couple never go as far as Joy.
10. The couple enjoy Joy (intercourse)
Whether the Wooing has taken three sessions to get this far, or thirty or more, by this time your first Joy together will be a very special event.
In `normal´ dating your first intercourse might have happened thirty minutes after your first serious kissing. With extended Wooing in Devotional Sex it will take much much longer.
If both the Princess and Knight have enjoyed this longer journey of extended Wooing, then it will have been a success.
11. Devotional Relationship
If the Wooing is very extended, it is possible that the relationship may become much more serious before you get as far as Joy.
With Devotional Dating the Knight never ejaculates when with his Princess. As all of the above has been about Devotional Dating, the Knight's ejaculations have never been mentioned.
Once a relationship becomes serious enough, the couple can agree to start a Devotional Relationship. This means that the Knight will now only ejaculate when allowed by his Princess, and so all (or most) of his ejaculations will now be with his Princess.
(A Knight's ejaculation control is unlikely to be always perfect, so it will not be uncommon for one or more unplanned ejaculations to occur during Devotional Dating.)
His first planned ejaculation together once you start a Devotional Relationship together is a very significant Devotee event.
Other Pathways
As mentioned several times above, the pathway described above is just one of many possibilities.
If you do a different pathway, and want to make the journey longer, then you need to think about your pathway in a similar manner to the above discussion.
What is the effect of ending a session at an activity? Is ending a session this way something that is best done only once? Or is this a natural end point which can be repeated for a few more sessions?
Setting what becomes normal in your dating or future Devotional Relationship
Deciding how to implement extending Wooing, and deciding which early activities will continue to be done most or all other sessions, starts to set what will be coming normal in your Devotional Dating, and possibly your future Devotional Relationship.
In many Devotional Relationships it will be normal to have sessions where the only activity is a Knight giving his Princess a short or long Pleasure Kiss. Note how the pathway suggested above helps set up this type of activity becoming normal.
Some Princess's will not want to even try Affirmation (the Knight being naked while the Princess is fully dressed) once. Others may use it a few times in early dating to create Princess Power, but then only play this game rarely. A few may decide that they very much enjoy this dynamic, and may make a rule in their Devotional Relationship that whenever their Knight gives them a foot massage then he must be naked, or that he must be naked at some other times. If, after doing Affirmation once in your Devotional Dating, you decide to do it again every, or most. later sessions, then this will start to become a normal way of how you spend time with your partner.
As the Devotional Relationship develops, a Princess can easily add new things that will eventually start to become normal, and she can drop things that she decides that she does not like. So what you do at the very beginning of your Devotional Dating does not lock you in to any particular activities.
But first dating is certainly a very easy time to create some new normal behaviors, especially when your Knight is wooing you. And there is something special about having a Devotional Activity be a normal part of your lifestyle when this has started from your very first dating.