1. Intimacy - a close physical connection with another person re-charges our batteries. You might miss sex, but the lack of cuddles can be a much deeper loss (more)
   
   
2. Sensual pleasures - Massages etc (more)
   
   
3. Sexual pleasures - Sexual pleasures are extremely enjoyable! (more)
   
   
4. Erotic fun - Play helps us unwind and relax, and provides a break from the many stresses of modern life. Using erotic energy to power some adult play (maybe without any explicit sex) is a great way for adults to have some fun (more & play ideas)
   
   
5. An opportunity to explore Devotional Sex (more)

How each of the five aspects listed above can be enjoyed within a Devotional Friendship can be explored by clicking the link after each item. These links are repeated at the bottom of this page.

If you believe that erotic energy and sensual pleasures should only be enjoyed by people in a romantic relationship, you may prefer to skip this section.

I believe that erotic energy, and sexual and sensual pleasures are best enjoyed within a romantic relationship. But I cannot think of any good reason for those not in a romantic relationship to miss out on such important and pleasurable parts of adult life.

If there is mutual respect and friendship, I think it is healthy for willing friends to become Devotional Friends. Not only does a Devotional Friendship satisfy some basic needs, but the different nature of the relationship creates new possibilities that are lots of fun and very liberating to explore.

 "Friends with benefits" is a fairly new term, used mainly by young people, to describe a sexual relationship where there is not any romantic relationship. Being friends with benefits does not prevent either person having other friends with benefits, or looking for a romantic relationship. If either person found a romantic relationship, the friends with benefits relationship would become a `just friends´ relationship.

Using the word `friend´ suggests that this relationships is more than a one off event. I also like the word `friend´ as it implies that the couple are actually friends as well as occasional sexual partners.

A Devotional Friend is a friend with benefits with whom you practice Devotional Sex.

There are two key reasons why a Devotional Friendship can be better than a friends with benefits relationship:

• Firstly, using Devotional Sex makes the exploration much more fun and exciting, and it can also create greater feelings of intimacy and connection. This works just as well with a Devotional Friend as it does when starting a new romantic relationship.
  
  
• Secondly, Devotional Sex can be used to enjoy sharing erotic energy and intimacy with a friend without going the whole way.

A problem with modern dating is that there is often an expectation that even a friends with benefits relationship will go the whole way. This leaves people with the choice of doing everything or nothing. So a person without a romantic relationship who does not want to go the whole way must either do more than they want, or totally miss out on the pleasures of erotic energy and intimacy.

Sometimes the lack of intimacy leads to trying a quick one-night stand. This is effective for going through all the sexual acts, but it usually lacks any intimacy. This puts many off trying another one-night stand, and so they go back to living a life without intimacy (while perhaps still looking for a romantic partner).

Of course some Devotional Friendships will be very sexual, and some will go as far as Joy.

But what makes a Devotional Friendship different and valuable is that many will use it to mainly enjoy other things. Some Devotional Friendships will be mainly sensual (eg massages), others will be mainly sharing intimacy (eg cuddles), and some will use Devotional Sex mainly to enjoy some adult fun (ie games that lead to arousal, but not necessarily to explicit sexual activities).

If you want to take your exploration of Devotional Sex from just reading to trying it, but you do not have a romantic partner, a Devotional Friend would enable you to explore the parts of Devotional Sex which you would like to experience in real life.

Most people think of erotic energy as something that leads to sexual activity within a relationship, and should be suppressed at all other times. A Devotional Friendship opens up the new world of using erotic energy to power intimacy, sensual pleasures, and erotic fun to be enjoyed by both without the expectation of significant sexual activity. Playing with erotic energy without it leading to serious sexual activity is a whole new world.

It is a lot of fun, and very liberating to play and explore in this new world.
   

Easy for Devotees, harder for others

An experienced Princess or Knight would find it very easy to act and feel appropriately for a Devotional Friendship to be successful.

A new Princess would find it easier to become comfortable in her new role as a Princess in a romantic Devotee relationship than with a Devotional Friendship. This is because the Devotional Friendship will usually need her to take more control, and will probably need her to say "no" more often. But if she is willing to take the necessary control she is likely to enjoy the Devotional Friendship.

A new Knight is likely to find learning to be a Knight in a Devotional Friendship very challenging. So a Devotional Friendship may only work with a new Knight if he has read about Devotional Sex and is very much wanting to give it a go. If a Princess would like a Devotional Friendship with a man she could always refer him to this site and see what he thinks. He might decide that it looks like a fun experiment!
   

Honesty

Devotional Friends need to be very honest for it all to work.

Firstly, you need to be very honest with yourself:

• If you want a romantic relationship with your Devotional Friend then you may find being just Devotional Friends more frustrating and upsetting than fulfilling. 
  
  
• You need to feel very comfortable about what you are happy to do within the friendship, and what you do not want to do. A Devotional Friendship is about making two people happy, and if you are doing things you do not want to do, you will not end up being happy.
  
  
• You also need to feel very comfortable about, and fully accept, that you may never get to enjoy some activities within the friendship if your partner does not also want to do them.
  
  Devotional Sex is about fully enjoying what you are doing. If you become fixated on wanting to do something that will never happen, then the Devotional Friendship will be frustrating rather than fulfilling (and your partner will pick up that you are frustrated, and this will spoil the dynamic for them as well).

Secondly, you need to be very honest with your Devotional Friend:

• Perhaps you need to make it clear that you do not want a romantic relationship with them.
  
  
• The Knight needs to make clear what is inside and outside his limits, and if the Princess decides that some activities will never happen, or that some activities will always be unbalanced, she should make this clear to her Knight.
  
  
• And if you would like to do a bit (or a lot) more than your friend, you need to make it very clear that you are happy to enjoy what does happen, and that you fully accept that some of the things you would like to do will never happen.

A simple case of clear communication would be a man telling a female friend "Though we both don't want to become romantically involved with each other, I would very much enjoy us becoming Devotional Friends. As your Knight I would be willing to do almost anything, but I am happy to only do what pleases you."

She might reply "Yes, I agree that romance between us will never happen, and I would like you to be my Knight. I am not sure how far I want to go, but definitely no Joy. And as we can do things very differently, I would like to explore how it feels to have fun teasing you and yet limit any sexual pleasures to your pleasing me. I think this will be lots of fun!"

The above example sounds far too formal as everything is said at once. In reality all of the above would be said bit-by-bit within a much longer conversation. What is important is that all the key points of the negotiation are covered.

Why not just start to play without negotiating and just see what happens?

Because then one or both may be expecting, or very much wanting, things to eventually go the whole way, and the Knight might be expecting things to be balanced. After all, this is what happens in all romantic relationships and even in a one night stand. The `normal´ way is for sensuality to move to sexuality which leads to Joy. And the `normal´ expectation is that if one person gives the other, for example, oral sex, then they will `return the favor´.

The new world of a Devotional Friendship enables erotic play without going all the way, and the couple to play with fun new dynamics by keeping some activities unbalanced. If one person still has the expectations of the `normal´ world, then their unfulfilled expectations will lead to frustration, and this will prevent them from enjoying the Devotional Friendship.

Unless you have both read this page, talking about what may happen, and what will not happen, within the Devotional Friendship is needed to ensure that the `normal´ expectations have been thrown away, and that both are keen and willing to enter the new world of a Devotional Friendship.

If you are both honest with yourselves, and then communicate honestly, and are still both wanting to be Devotional Friends, then the Devotional Friendship will almost certainly be a success.

How it works

Within a Devotional Friendship the Knight must still be committed to obeying all his Princess's sexual and sensual commands (within his limits).

But there are some big differences when you are only Devotional Friends. These are:

1. The Devotional relationship only applies when you are together
   
   
2. The Princess can decide that many activities will never happen
   
   
3. The Knight can set restricted limits (that is he can decide that some activities will never happen), and
   
   
4. If either of the Devotional Friends decides to stop being a Princess or a Knight, then this will usually be the end of the intimate relationship. (In a romantic relationship the alternative to practicing Devotional Sex is to go back to an `ordinary´ sex life).

The activities which take place within the Devotional Friendship are chosen by the Princess from everything that her Knight is willing to do. As with Devotional Sex in a romantic relationship, some of the activities enjoyed by Devotional Friends may be initiated by the Knight making suggestions to his Princess.

There is nothing wrong or unhealthy about a Devotional Friendship where one person would enjoy going much further than the other. And there is nothing wrong about them telling their partner what they would like. Their partner should respond to any such desires by thinking of them as just compliments, and feel no expectation or pressure to comply. This is much more honest and healthy than one person having to pretend that they only want to go as far as their partner.

Another part of Devotional Sex which does not change within a Devotional Friendship is that the Princess must still keep her Knight wanting to be her Knight. Otherwise he will stop being her Knight! As the alternative to being her Knight is probably no sharing of erotic energy, he might decide that some enjoyment is better than nothing. Even so, if the Princess wants to keep him as her Knight she does need to think about what he is getting out of it, and ensure that this is enough to keep him happy.

If the Knight is particular keen, the Devotional Friendship will work best if the Princess is comfortable with being assertive when this is needed. She will sometimes need to be assertive just to ensure that things do not go as far as the Knight might like. And if she is sometimes assertive in making something happen, they will both have much more fun.

If it is the Knight who is willing to do more activities than the Princess, the Devotional Friendship will work best if the Princess can take confident control over most of what happens. In normal sexual activity you both know where you are going (usually Joy), so it is easy for the male to lead. In a romantic Devotee relationship Princess Power only plays a small role as everything can happen and there is a lot of negotiation. With a Devotional Friendship that is not going all the way the number of possible final activities is huge. The male cannot lead if it is the Princess who will decide where you are going.

Clear Princess control also prevents the dynamic from becoming the Knight trying to get as far as he can. If the Knight is initiating activities by making suggestions, then he will be distracted by thinking about next steps, whilst the Princess may feel pressured by hearing suggestions for things she does not want to do. So much better if the Princess decides how she wants to start and initiates the first activity, and then keeps control by starting further activities when she feels that they would be fun.

A woman who is used to the male taking the initiative may initially find it difficult to take control. It is worth her making a special effort as the dynamic works so much better this way, especially when the Knight would like to do more than the Princess.

The Princess is not expected to be dominant or bossy. Her control is just calmly and gently saying "no" when needed, and saying what to do next when she decides something else would be fun.

A sexually confident women will probably find it very easy to take control. The more she reads about the possibilities within a Devotional Friendship the more she may relish the opportunity to put it into practice!

In a Devotional Friendship the Princess can `exploit´ a Knight's keenness to share erotic energy and make the dynamic very one sided. Making things very one sided can add energy and make the dynamic lots of fun for both people.

When a couple are enjoying some Devotional Friends activities, either person may at any time change their mind about how far they wish to go.

If the Princess decides she would like to go further, and she knows that this is within her Knight's limits, then she can just surprise him by initiating the next step. If the Princess decides she does not wish to go as far, then she can just use her Princess Power to ensure that this does not happen, or to step back to an earlier activity if they are already going too far.

If the Knight is the person who has some limits preventing the couple from going further, and he changes his mind and would like to go further, he only has to let his Princess know. If he decides he does not want to go as far as previously discussed, then he again must let his Princess know about his changed limits.

Friends may be just occasional Devotional Friends. That is most of the time they are together there is no sharing of erotic energy, but every once in a while he becomes her Knight for a night.

If they are together and the male would like some Devotional Friends activities, and she wants this visit to be just friends, then it may help the male if he thinks of himself as her Knight that must obey her request for nothing to happen.

Getting Started

Advice on how a Princess can start a Devotional Friendship is here.

Devotional Sex at the start of dating shows how Devotional Sex can be used to fully enjoy getting to know a new sexual partner. As this section is about dating a new partner, it is assumed that the couple will eventually enjoy a full sexual relationship. Devotional Sex is used to slow down the journey to Joy, but it is assumed that the couple will eventually share Joy.

The link above recommends that a newly dating couple explore doing things in a non-equal way. So, for example, the first time they enjoy oral sex only one person receives it. This enhances that activity. And it leaves them waiting for next time for the giver to have a turn receiving.

In a Devotional Friendship the Princess (or Knight) can decide how far things will go. The Princess can also decide that some activities will always remain unequal. This can make the Devotional Friendship feel different and special.

A Devotional Friendship can be like repeating the first one or two steps towards starting a full intimate relationship again and again!

One way to start Devotional Sex when dating is for the new Princess to read "Your date has said he wants to do use Devotional Sex" from the starting dating section mentioned above. This section can also be used by a new Princess to start a Devotional Friendship. It includes an introduction to Devotional Sex, and an outline of everything a new Princess needs to know to quickly become a Princess in real life.

Many of the ideas presented in the above link are also included in the set of links in the section below. The presentation and discussion of the ideas is different though, as the information in the links below has been written to apply to a Devotional Friendship.

Setting a Knight's erotic energy

In a romantic Devotee relationship the Princess controls her Knight's erotic energy by deciding when he Climaxes.  If he has not Climaxed for longer than usual his energy will be particularly high, and if he has recently Climaxed his energy will be lower than usual.

Within a Devotional Friendship the Princess cannot control how long it is since he last Climaxed. But as his energy level makes such a big difference to the dynamic, it is reasonable for her to state her preference. Of course if she would like him to be very charged up she needs to let him know this many days before they meet.

The Knight does not have to meet her preference (as this would govern his behavior for many days before they meet), but he should try to meet her request if it is practicable.

Having a Knight with very high energy does not imply that things must go further. The activities can still be fairly mild. But the high energy will make a big difference as everything will be much more intense for the Knight, and the Princess will certainly feel the extra energy.

Enjoying Devotional Friendship

To enjoy a successful Devotional Friendship it is vital that the Princess feels fully comfortable, and for the new dynamic to feel like a new normal. The page Feeling like a Princess lists and expands on eleven ways she can make this happen.

A Devotional Friendship has many more possibilities than when Devotional Sex is used within a romantic relationship. This is because within a romantic relationship most things lead to full sexual activity, and the  activities need to have some balance so that they are both satisfied.

A Devotional Friendship may never go all the way, and the activities may never become balanced. It can also mainly focus on only one or some of the items listed below, and so explicit sexual activity may play no part, or have only a small role, in the activities.

The pages linked below is like a big recipe book. If some thought and sensitivity goes into deciding which ideas to try, and in which order, a perfect dining experience can be enjoyed.

To fully explore the possibilities of a Devotional Friendship, click the links below:

• Intimacy
  
• Sensual pleasures
• Erotic fun
• Play ideas
• Sexual pleasures
  
• Exploring Devotional Sex

Erotic energy is a wonderful gift. If feels extremely liberating, and is lots of fun, to share this with a friend within a Devotional Friendship. If you are not in a romantic relationship, I hope you can give it a try.

Please contact me if you think of any other ideas, if you have any feedback on this section, or if you have a real-life story I can add to this site.