A Princess starting a Devotional Friendship.
Lots of choice | Take your time | Hot or mild, plain or spicy
Before a session | The very first session
Teasing | Your Princess Power dynamic | Things can go wrong
An opportunity to enjoy something very different | Always unequal activities
Having something unusual become normal | An opportunity to enjoy riskier activities
Before a session | The very first session
Teasing | Your Princess Power dynamic | Things can go wrong
An opportunity to enjoy something very different | Always unequal activities
Having something unusual become normal | An opportunity to enjoy riskier activities
Starting a Devotional Friendship is like your first visit to an excellent restaurant which has a large and varied menu. At first the large amount of choice may feel daunting.
With a Devotional Friendship the main sections of the menu are intimacy, sensual pleasures, erotic fun, sexual pleasures, and exploring Devotional Sex.
As in a real restaurant, your first decision is which parts of the menu are of great interest, which might be sampled, and which hold no interest. You might want to focus mainly or totally on intimacy and sensual pleasures. Or you might like the idea of having lots of erotic fun and exploring the power dynamic. And you might be very tempted to enjoy some sexual pleasures as part of your meal.
You will be coming back to this restaurant, so there is no need to try every tempting dish the first visit.
And just like a real restaurant you visit often, there will be some dishes which are your favorites, some dishes which you have occasionally, some you have only tried once, and many dishes you never try.
So when you consider all the possibilities on the menu of a Devotional Friendship, there is no need to be worried about the many things that seem unappealing. Just like at a real restaurant, what you find unappealing may be another person's favorite. Your challenge is to find what is most appealing to you.
What all this means for your Devotional Friendship is that you may find the most enjoyment by not ever going very far, and even though the majority of the ideas presented here my hold no attraction to you, the one or two hot and spicy things that you do like may add a significant component to what you enjoy. So ignore most of what is below, but pay particular attention to anything where you think "now that might be fun". Enjoy!
A Devotional Friendship works incredibly well for both a friendship and with an erotic friend. Friends can use Devotional Sex to enjoy mainly the friendship as before, but now with some added cuddles, sensuality, and perhaps some erotic games. And a Devotional Friendship also allows for erotic activity to be the main attraction of the friendship. In both cases the key is the Princess deciding what feels right for her to do, and doing no more. And in both cases things are even more fun for both if the Princess is adventurous and willing to try some new ideas.
With `normal´ sex we are often used to leaving things till the end of the evening, and then spending only a few minutes on each activity. This is the fast food model of sex and intimacy which is all too common.
One of the greatest pleasures of Devotional Sex is that everything usually takes much longer. Devotional Sex is spending many hours at a great restaurant.
Firstly this means that it is a good idea to start the activities early on in the evening. This gives you the time to properly enjoy what happens. Just because you start early does not mean that you end up going further.
Secondly, when you enjoy an activity, try to stretch it out to twenty or forty minutes!
If you receive a foot massage, take your time to enjoy it. If you set up a situation where one of you is naked or partly undressed, and the other is fully clothed, try to keep this dynamic going for a long time before moving to the next stage. The first time one of you gives oral sex to the other (if you go this far), make this the main event of the evening, and enjoy it (perhaps with some rest breaks) for over half an hour.
A very big difference between Devotional Sex and `normal´ is that if the Knight gets very aroused at the beginning of the evening, this can be enjoyed for a while, and then the Princess can decide to calm things down. Her Knight might need a bit of cuddle time to calm down as there is not the usual ejaculation to quickly lower his energy.
As his erotic energy is still there, the next part of the evening still has some background erotic energy.
The Princess can enjoy getting him aroused again whenever she wishes, and then end the arousing activity when she chooses. So a Knight's energy may rise and fall many times during an evening, and of course his Desire will also rise and fall many times.
One of the joys of Devotional Sex is that Devotees can enjoy many hours of erotic activity.
This does pose a challenge to the male anatomy as there is only so long he can remain hard without a rest.
It is not uncommon in a very long session for a Knight's Desire to have a rest, even when the Knight is highly aroused. A lack of full erection does not mean an end to activities as he will very much enjoy still doing some other activities. And after a while, it is usual for his erection to be regained.
Just like there is a big difference between food being hot or mild, and between plain and spicy food, the way you enjoy your Devotional Friendship will feel very different depending on how you approach it.
If you don't like hot food, a friend insisting you try the very hot Vindaloo curry is not likely to successfully introduce you to a new taste sensation.
And if you are used to enjoying hot and spicy food, being served some very plain food may feel boring.
For your Devotional activities to be enjoyable they must have the right level of heat and spice for you and your Knight.
Your exploration of a Devotional Friendship will be more exciting and memorable if you are adventurous in trying new activities, but avoid activities which are certain not to be to your taste.
A Princess who wishes can give her Knight some instructions before a session.
Most Princess's will probably not wish to do this, but those who do may get an extra thrill from having done so, and it will certainly make things more interesting for their Knight.
If she would like to know more about her Knight's likes and desires, and his dislikes, she can ask him to write these down for her.
The erotic energy of her Knight at the session will partly depend on how long it has been since he last ejaculated. If he has ejaculated in the day or two before the session his energy will be fairly low. This means that if anything happens during the first session, the feelings will be less intense.
If he has not ejaculated for longer than usual he will be very charged up. This can bring a very noticeable intensity to even mild interactions. It can make a big difference to how quickly and how willing he is to engage in submissive activities. For example, a Knight with low energy will not be particularly keen to give a Foot Kiss. A very charged up Knight will very quickly get highly aroused and squirmy if he gives a Foot Kiss.
A
new Princess needs to be aware that a side-effect of a Knight having
gone a long time without ejaculating is that sometimes his ability to
have an erection is affected. Being very charged up may make him
incredibly hard. But it can also lead to some times when he fails for a
while to rise. Of course this limits some activities during that time,
but as he still has very high erotic energy there are many activities
which can still be enjoyed by both.
In a Devotional Friendship a Knight will never (apart from accidents) ejaculate with his Princess. But a Princess can have some control over his ejaculations in that she can request that he be not charged up, or very charged up, for a session.
Note that if she wants him to be very charged up she needs to make this request up to a week before the session.
If a Princess likes the idea of her Knight wearing something special she can tell him to do this in advance. Things that can be worn under normal clothes are presented in chapter 13 under Special Public Clothing.
Telling your Knight in advance to wear something special means that if your time together starts in public, eg dinner at a restaurant, your Knight will be wearing the instructed item during this time.
Any of the above instructions is not committing a Princess to do anything further during the session.
Though a prior instruction will raise expectations in her Knight, it can also make it easier to only do what she wishes during the evening as the Knight's obeying the instruction will make him feel that her Princess Power is more real. And the more that Princess Power feels real, the less the Knight feels his male dominance, and the easier it becomes for him to accept his Princess's wishes.
Once you have looked at this site you probably have a pretty good idea of how Devotional Sex works. As long as you follow the basic principles, it is totally up to you what happens. If you have your own ideas - go for it!
Devotional Sex is not about doing what is suggested here. It is about things feeling right. Once you understand and feel the dynamic good Devotional Sex naturally follows.
You will be deciding the flow of the session. Just like at a restaurant, selecting a large number of dishes and having only a quick bite of each will probably not work very well. It is much better to spend some time fully appreciating a dish before you move on to the next.
Just like at a restaurant, the order of the dishes is important. Some activities will flow on naturally from the previous. Sometimes it is fun to move on from one type of taste to something very different.
With Devotional Sex it is very easy to have a spicy activity at any time. Just like it might be fun to start with a spicy entree, there is no need with Devotional Sex to start plain and work up to anything more spicy.
At the Devotional Sex restaurant you do not have to make all your order at the beginning of the session. Decide how to start, and then once that has been enjoyed, you can decide then what course might be best next. Devotional Sex often works best if you start out with a plan of activities. But it also works best when you feel inspired to change the plan during the session.
Probably the best way to start is to have your Knight give you a foot massage. This establishes contact and intimacy, is relaxing for you both, and provides a chance to talk.
Your Knight will be sitting at your feet when he gives you the foot massage. If you want this to be visually chaste for him, wear trousers.
If you like the idea of him being teased by your legs, and, depending on how you sit and move, possibly a tease of seeing higher up, you can wear a dress or skirt. Remember that any visual teasing need go no further, so you can enjoy his reactions and no more.
Wearing a dress or skirt also makes some later activities much easier. If you like the idea of him kissing up your legs, or kissing over your panties, or enjoying a Ritual Cuddle in the living room, all of this can be enjoyed without your undressing. Of course wearing a dress or skirt does not commit you to doing any of these things.
So plan ahead and dress accordingly.
What next? One possibility is nothing! Remember that what happens and does not happen is totally up to you, and you can end things at any time.
Whatever you do during the rest of the evening will work much better if you both feel that your Princess Power is real.
Your Knight agreeing to be your Knight is not the same as your feeling that he will do what you say, and is not the same as his feeling that you really are his Princess.
Devotional Sex works best when you really feel that you can make things happen when you wish, that you can stop things, and that things will not go any further than you want.
For your Knight it makes a huge difference whether or not he feels that your power is real. If he does not, then he is much more likely to try to move things to the next step. His normal male dominance will effect the feel of the rest of the evening. The main effect of him feeling that your power is real is that it removes his male dominance. This makes it much easier for him to enjoy what is happening without trying to move forward.
The mutual feeling that Princess Power is real so significantly improves the feel of the whole evening that I strongly recommend that Devotional Friends are brave enough to do one or more things the beginning of the evening which establishes the dynamic.
One very effective way of quickly creating a strong feeling of the power dynamic is to have him undressed or naked while you remain fully clothed. You may tell him to do this, or he may offer to do it.
It works very well to start this while he is giving you the foot massage.
It is up to the Princess how far this goes, and how it progresses. The quickest is just to say "Reveal" or "take everything off". Alternatively you might enjoy having him take one thing off at a time. You might prefer that he keeps his underpants on all the time, or for a while before going further. Of course a fully naked Knight will feel more vulnerable, but it is very important that the Princess feel relaxed and comfortable, and so her feelings are the most important factor.
Another alternative is for you to spend time undressed while he remains fully clothed.
This can be an opportunity to excite your partner by `wearing something more comfortable´ (which is a silly way of saying wearing something sexy because often it is not particularly comfortable). Normally `something comfortable´ does not stay on for long (because further activities lead to it quickly coming off). But with Devotional Sex you can spend some time this way (and perhaps not go any further).
It does take significant bravery from both the Princess and her Knight to get to the stage of having just one person undressed. But a few minutes after the undressing, and as you both relax with the foot massage in the now erotically charged atmosphere, you will be surprised how quickly it starts to feel natural.
And as this starts to feel natural you will be enjoying your first real taste of Devotional Sex. Perhaps it is only then you will understand most of what is written on this site.
You will also realize that despite the huge number of words on this page, experiencing real Devotional Sex is both very erotically charged and relaxing. You are enjoying the moment, and there is no rush to move forward. You can wait until you feel inspired to try something else. Most Devotional Sex is creating a situation where both you and your Knight just relax and enjoy the moment.
It is very fun to have your first kiss and cuddle with one person fully dressed and the other naked!
If he is naked this does not mean that you need to touch his Desire during a cuddle. It is a good example of Princess Power when a Princess enjoys a long cuddle with a naked Knight and never touches his Desire. Both will be very aware of his strong desire to be touched, and so both will be aware that she is deciding, for now, not to touch.
If you are the naked person it does not mean that he is allowed to touch you.
If you are going to progress to some sexual activity, it is very powerful and effective for the first session to have lots of kissing and touching of one persons Pleasure / Desire, and no touching of the other. Not touching the sexual parts of the naked person in the living room means that the naked person in the living room can be the person who gives the pleasure in the bedroom.
If the Princess wants to enjoy cuddling her Knight, and have him feel submissive to her, but have both of them remain fully clothed, this can be done.
One way is to tie his hands together, either in front of him, or behind his back. A cuddle this way will feel very different!
Another way is to have your Knight go out and insert a Butt Plug, and come back (fully dressed) for the cuddle. Again a cuddle this way will feel very different. Note that this type of cuddle can only be enjoyed if it is within the Knight's limits. The Knight being willing to obey this command does not mean that his obeying will be easy for him. In fact many Knights would find this type of cuddle very challenging. The reward, for both, is that the power dynamic would feel incredibly real, and the resulting cuddle might be very special.
The above two techniques are very useful if a Princess wants to experience the power and intensity of Devotional Sex, but also not go very far. Either would make a very unusual and different, but very powerful and memorable, final activity to an evening that otherwise did not go very far.
During the foot massage is a great time to talk about what each person likes, and what type of Devotional Friendship may take place.
A Devotional Friendship is powered by the Knight wanting to go further than you do. But it will only be successful if the Knight is happy to accept that only the Princess's selected activities will take place. If the Knight is expecting things to develop further, and they do not, then he will naturally be disappointed and unsatisfied with the Devotional Friendship. If he knows beforehand that things will only go so far, then he can decide to be your Knight under those conditions, or not to play. If he decides to be your Knight, then he is very likely to enjoy your activities.
If you only want intimacy, it is best to get your Knight's agreement that there will be no sex.
If you want to enjoy erotic games, but not go on to full sexual activity, it is also good to get his agreement.
And if you are considering exploring keeping some activities unequal (see below) this should be discussed, and an agreement reached.
Your Princess Power will feel much more real to your Knight if you do not tell him what you have planned for the evening.
If you go to bed leave him wondering what, if anything might happen.
His not knowing what might happen is also good because if you change your mind he will not be disappointed.
If your Knight enjoys feeling submissive, then having him feel submissive to you makes him much more eager to please you, and can make things feel much more intense and pleasurable for him.
If he is submissive you can have him tell you things that would make him feel more submissive. Pick the one you like the most, and enjoy the result.
A Princess may enjoy doing things that make her Knight feel submissive to her.
But the main benefit for the Princess may be that she gets to enjoy his extra intensity and his much greater willingness to please. So pressing some of his submissive `buttons´ might be done not for the enjoyment of the activity that makes him feel submissive, but for the result.
Try to resist the temptation to move straight on to something else after the foot massage. If one is undressed and the other fully clothed, spend more time this way and savor the feelings. It can be a nice way to just cuddle.
For example, if you are going to spend some time listening to some music or watching TV, or even having dinner, the `normal´ thing to do is do these things first, and then start some intimacy. With a Devotional Friend you can enjoy a foot massage to start the evening, have him undressed or naked, and once you have had enough foot massage then enjoy the music / DVD / dinner - but leaving him undressed or naked.
When it works this can be lots of fun for both!
The next activity depends on what type of Devotional Friendship you want.
One possibility is that for your first session you do not go any further. Some Devotional Friendships may never go any further.
If you do want to go further, select from the menu and enjoy!
The main sections of the menu are: intimacy, sensual pleasures, erotic fun, sexual pleasures, and exploring Devotional Sex.
The menu is only a suggestion. You may think of a variation or something different that is even more fun.
If you know you want to end with some sex, take your time getting there. Perhaps one or two erotic games in the living room would be fun before you move to the bedroom.
When you go to bed the first time it can be effective to both have your underpants on and enjoy a chaste cuddle first.
The first time one person takes their underpants off it can work well for the other person to keep theirs on - this allows you both to enjoy the first exploration of the naked person.
Even if you want to enjoy a more equal Devotional Friendship, you will have the most memorable and intense experience if you keep the first session unequal.
For example, if on your first night you enjoy receiving oral sex then have your Knight keep his underpants on all that night (and you never put your hands inside). The second time together let him be naked in bed and play with his Desire. Then, several sessions later give him oral sex.
Not doing everything on the first (and second and third) nights makes the journey much more intense and pleasurable.
If you want to become Devotional Lovers (that is also enjoy Joy) then it is highly recommended that you first enjoy several session without going this far.
The first time you enjoy Joy together will then be a very special event.
Take your time enjoying any teasing. Teasing builds erotic energy and anticipation. Long teasing make the sensations much more powerful.
Playing with him over his underpants is very exciting the first time, especially if he does not know if you are going to go further later on that evening, another time, or never.
You can have him kiss your Pleasure over your panties. He will not know whether or not he will get to taste you later.
You can spend some time watching him play with himself for you.
Or you can tease him by having him lie between your legs and watch you play with yourself.
All of the above are much more powerful when you have never gone further and you take your time with the tease. If you wish, you can even enjoy several sessions of such teasing before you take the next step.
It is not unusual in a Devotional Friendship for 80% of the activities to be suggested by the Knight.
Your Princess Power to decide what happens does not mean that you must come up with all the ideas. It does mean that you can say "no" to any suggestions that you do not like, so even if your Knight has come up with the idea you are still approving it. For example:
"Would you like a foot massage?"
"Yes please, that would be nice."
"Yes please, that would be nice."
The dynamic will feel very different if most of what happens is from your initiative. For example:
"I would like a foot massage please."
"With pleasure Princess."
"With pleasure Princess."
Never be afraid to give a command when you want to, and to leave the ideas to your Knight when that is your preference.
Note that though whatever you say is a command which your Knight will obey, this does not mean that you need to act bossy. Unless you want to enjoy some play acting, most commands within Devotional Sex feel more like normal speech.
Very often there is some normal negotiation involved in deciding what to do next, or when to stop. There is nothing wrong with a Princess listening to her Knight and granting him his wish. But when she does want something, a Princess should never be afraid to act assertively and make it clear to her Knight that he must obey.
Devotional Sex has a number of commands. If you want something to happen, you can just say what you want. The commands are a convenient shorthand. Especially when getting started, there is no need to remember or use any of the commands.
Saying a command and having it obeyed is also a way of making the power dynamic feel real to both you and your Knight.
If he is doing something you like and stops, just say "More" and he will continue till you ask him to stop.
If he is using his hands on you, and you would like him to use his mouth instead, just say "Kiss". For example, this command will turn a foot massage into a Foot Kiss.
If you are in bed together, and you say "Ritual", you will surprise and delight your Knight.
If, in the living room, you ever say "Undress" or "Reveal" you will surprise your Knight, and his obeying will very much have you both feeling that your Princess Power is real.
The great joy of Devotional Sex is that doing it is much more fun than reading about it.
But in real-life things can go wrong.
Both Devotees need to stayed tuned to their partner to check that things are working.
A Knight's commitment to obey within his limits is not set in stone because his limits may change. What he suggested as an exciting fantasy may not work in practice. If this happens he should communicate with his Princess, and she should either modify what they are doing, or move on to something else.
Either person is, of course, always able to say "Game over".
Another potential problem is that though the Knight not ejaculating is the ideal, accidents can happen.
If a Knight warns his Princess that he is close to ejaculating then the Princess should do her best not to push him over the edge.
And if the Knight accidentally trips over the edge and does ejaculate, the Princess should be understanding.
As Devotional Sex is powered by the Knight's high erotic energy, an accidental ejaculation will often, unfortunately, bring most activities to an end.
For those attracted to either or both of these ideas, it will add power and depth to the Devotional Friendship.
And those who are not interested in this part of the menu can select their dishes from the sections that are of interest.
In a Devotional Relationship the activities go all the way, and have some balance.
A Devotional Friendship is a unique opportunity to not only enjoy activities without going all the way, but to enjoy a permanent unbalance in what you do enjoy.
A Devotional Friendship allows a Princess to enjoy:
- receiving lots of massages without ever giving any
- having her Knight often be naked but she never undresses
- receive long sessions of oral sex but never give him oral
- playing with his erection but never letting him touch her
One of the interesting things about Devotional Sex is the huge difference between the possibilities. So in an unequal Friendship one Princess may enjoy long sessions of receiving oral sex but never give her partner oral, and in another Friendship a Princess may enjoy playing with (and maybe even giving oral to) her Knight but never undressing herself.
Doing any of the above points within a relationship would feel unequal and unbalanced. People rightly expect to have all their needs met within a relationship.
But a Devotional Friendship has no obligation to do everything. In a relationship a Knight would expect to receive oral sex and to enjoy intercourse. In a Devotional Friendship any or all of the above points might be acceptable to him as long as he was enjoying the whole experience. After all, the alternative to enjoying the Devotional Friendship might be that no activity at all takes place.
I
once enjoyed a Devotional Friendship where my partner was very
attracted to the idea of us going to bed and her being orally pleasured
without her having to `service´ the man. We enjoyed several sessions
together where the only sexual activity was just that, and these were
enjoyed by us both.
Eventually she felt that she owed me some oral sex in return. When she did so it was with a feeling of "I knew we had to get around to this". Her not really being into giving me oral pleasure meant that receiving the oral sex was not all that great. And the spell of our time in bed together being about us both enjoying just long Pleasure Kisses had been broken.
The dynamic never felt the same again, and the Devotional Friendship ended shortly after.
Eventually she felt that she owed me some oral sex in return. When she did so it was with a feeling of "I knew we had to get around to this". Her not really being into giving me oral pleasure meant that receiving the oral sex was not all that great. And the spell of our time in bed together being about us both enjoying just long Pleasure Kisses had been broken.
The dynamic never felt the same again, and the Devotional Friendship ended shortly after.
A relationship needs some equality to survive, but a Devotional Friendship can end when equality is attempted and fails to satisfy both people.
Hence I recommend that a Princess takes the opportunity provided by a Devotional Friendship to enjoy lots of the activities she wants to enjoy, and to never do anything that she does not want to do within that Friendship.
Of course the activities within a Devotional Friendship can be fully balanced if that is what the Princess desires.
If the Devotional Friendship is unbalanced, then it will only survive and thrive if the Knight is happy.
This does not mean that things need to become balanced, but that the Princess may need to find other ways to ensure that her Knight enjoys the overall experience.
If her Knight is submissive, then doing things to make him feel very submissive to her may make it very easy for her Knight to accept that in this Friendship things remain unbalanced.
If he is not submissive, then there may be another sexual pleasure that makes up for the unbalance.
If the idea of exploring a Devotional Friendship with unbalanced activities is attractive, it is best to try this right from the beginning, and then stick to it.
Tell your Knight that you are interested in exploring the feelings and experience of having the activity always unbalanced, and get his agreement that this is acceptable.
This will certainly make your Knight feel that your Princess Power is real, and that the Devotional Friendship is different. And it will also, in a way, make it easier for him as he will no longer be hoping or expecting that things might become balanced at a later stage.
You will both find that as the unbalance becomes your normal, that this will make the Devotional Friendship feel very powerful and special.
In a live in Devotional Relationship a couple will do many things together. But they are also living a normal life, and so anything unusual will form only a small part of their lives.
Because Devotional Friends are only sometimes together, it is is possible to make some unusual things normal for that Friendship by having them always take place when the Devotional Friends are together.
One such thing is by having some activities always unequal (see above).
The Friendship will also feel special if one or more activities always takes place. Perhaps he always gives her a foot massage, or she always has some time when she watches him play with himself. Anything that is done every time you are together will start to feel like a core activity of that Friendship.
One or more `theatrical´ touches can add fun to the Friendship, for example, he always kisses her hand when they meet.
Other things are only limited by the imagination of the Princess and her Knight. Ideas include:
- A Princess setting a rule that her Knight must always wear a particular item under his clothing when they are out together (see Special Public Clothing in chapter 13)
- The Knight having to always be naked when they are alone together
- The Knight always having to wear a particular something sexy when they are alone together
- A Princess deciding to never wear panties when she is with her Knight
Of course a Princess setting a rule that one or more of the above will always happen does not lock this in. If she decides that something does not work, then she can end that rule, and if she wants to try something else, then she can make a new rule.
In a relationship a couple need to be careful to never do anything that will damage that relationship. It is not nearly as important that a Devotional Friendship continue, and so Devotional Friends can play with some riskier ideas.
Of course anything riskier should never be done when you know it will damage the Friendship, and both Devotees will have had to agree that the riskier activity is within their limits.
Activities which might be very powerful and rewarding for Devotional Friends to explore include:
- exploring mainly just receiving pleasure
- exploring mainly just giving pleasure
- exploring strong submission in a submissive Knight
- exploring making something very different normal (see above)
- including other people in a mild way
- including other people in more explicit activities
- some kinkier sexual activities.
