Why the definitions are important
I
believe that it is very important that the words "Devotional Sex",
"Devotional Relationship", "Devotional Dating", "Devotional Friends",
and "Devotional Lovers" are only used to describe the activities and
lifestyle as described earlier in this chapter.
This is not an
attempt to restrict what couples do together, they can do anything they
like, but an attempt to ensure meaningful communication.
If you do most but not all of the points in the definition, please do not call what you do Devotional Sex.
The main reason that definitions are important is that it enables good, effective communication.
One
of the reasons that words become less meaningful is that some people
see nothing wrong with doing something a bit different from the
definition and yet still calling what they do the old term. Lets look
at an example:
The definition of an apple pie would be something like `stewed apples surrounded by pastry´.
If a cook decided to use apricots instead of apples, they would make what most of us would call an apricot pie.
Imagine the confusion if the cook decided to call their apricot pie an apple pie.
On
another day a cook might make some stewed apples (without any pastry).
Imagine the confusion if this was also called an apple pie.
And
if lots of people started getting used to apple pie also meaning
apricot pie or stewed apple, then one day things might go as far as
someone calling stewed apricots an apple pie.
Advertising
can do very strange things with words.
In Australia they
marketed flavored milk under the brand name `Big M´. This came in two
sizes. In winter you could ask for this to be served hot. And one of the flavors was
`Iced Coffee´.
So a customer could go into a shop
and ask for a "small hot iced coffee Big M".
Asking
people to be strict with the definition of an apple pie is not in any
way suggesting that a cook not make an apricot pie, some stewed apples,
or some stewed apricots.
Similarly my requesting that you only
use Devotional Sex to refer to what is included in my definition is not
meant to imply in any way that you must do what is in the definition.
Note
that a good definition can be used to explain other similar things. If
someone asked "What is an apricot pie?", an informative answer would be
"It is just like an apple pie, except apricots are used instead of
apples." And if someone asked "What is stewed apples?", an informative
answer would be "It is like an apple pie without the pastry."
Similarly
my definitions of Devotional Sex can be used to explain to someone what
you do. "In our relationship we use Devotional Sex except we ...."
And
just like an apple pie can be served with cream or ice cream, couples
can add other techniques and practices to their Devotee lifestyle. "In
our relationship we practice Devotional Sex and sometimes enjoy full
Tantric Sex."
So to ensure that the words Devotional Sex always
have a clear and well defined meaning, please only use these words when
what you mean matches the definitions.