How Princess Power is applied

Normal negotiation

This chapter, and most of this site, emphasizes how Princess Power is used within Devotional Sex. This might create the impression that Princess Power is heavily used and dominates the couples dynamic. The reality of Devotional Sex is very different.

In practice it will not feel like Princess Power is being used during most of a Devotional couples sexual and sensual activities. Often much of what happens will be initiated by the Knight's suggestions, and most of a Princess's `commands´ will feel (to both) as just her share of the ideas.

It is also common to have some negotiation before a command is obeyed. After the Princess has considered the feelings and wishes of her Knight she will sometimes modify her command.

In a `normal´ sexual relationship the activities are determined by both the male and female initiating or suggesting what happens next.

This is also how most of a Devotional sexual dynamic works. When a Knight initiates or suggests an activity that the Princess likes, it feels no different than within a `normal´ relationship. When a Princess suggests or initiates an activity that the Knight likes, it also feels `normal´.

If, during a morning cuddle, a Knight moves his hand to hold her breast, and the Princess likes it, then he continues to hold her breast and they both enjoy it. If she does not feel like having her breast held that morning and says "not now please", the Knight will remove his hand. But this would be the same as in many `normal´ relationships.

So much of the sexual dynamic of a Devotee couple is the couple negotiating in the standard way without it feeling like Princess Power is being used.

Negotiation before a command is obeyed
The second wrong impression given by most of the brief examples of Princess Power on this site is that when Princess Power is used this is always a command that is instantly obeyed. There are times when this will be the case. But there will also be many times when the Knight negotiates a change or delay to the command.

The Knight is committed to obeying all her sexual and sensual commands, but he can let his Princess know how he feels. Because the Princess is devoted to her Knight, she will always take his feelings into account.

The examples on the site will often say something like "the Princess decides to end sexual activities for the night".

The reality will be more like:

She says "That's enough for tonight".

And he replies "Oh, can't we have a few minutes longer?"

If they were sharing Joy in the Power position, he might say "How about a few minutes of Joy Cuddle before we stop?"

She might reply "OK, a bit longer" or "Yes, a Joy Cuddle would be nice" or "If you are keen for more you can give me a Pleasure Kiss to kiss me good night" or even "No, that is all, time to stop!"

If they go to bed at night and the Princess does not want any sexual activity the Knight might negotiate a Devotional Cuddle, or perhaps the Princess will negotiate deferred pleasures by saying "I know you feel very wanting tonight, but I want a rest, and you will be rewarded tomorrow!"

Of course there will be times when the Knight tires and he is the one who wants to stop an activity. Again he just tells his Princess how he feels and she takes this into account.

Negotiation will also apply to the timing of any sensual pleasures. A Princess should use her Princess Power to ensure that she receives any sensual pleasure she wants, but negotiating with her Knight about exactly when it occurs means that her Knight can enjoy giving her the pleasure without it being an imposition into normal life.

Even when the Princess gives a command, for example says "Ritual", this will only feel like the use of Princess Power on the rare occasions when the Knight does not want to obey. "Ritual" is not a suggestion because the Knight must do it. But when the Knight likes doing it the command feels more like being given permission to do something fun.

Devotional Sex will not work with a dominant, uncaring and selfish Princess (unless her Knight is very submissive and just enjoys giving).

Devotional Sex works because most Princess's are normal women who are confident enough to be assertive when needed, and who take into account the feelings of their Knights and care that their Knight is also happy. They use their Princess Power to balance their Knights high erotic energy, and to ensure that they both fully enjoy their Devotional lifestyle.

Princess Power is very real within Devotional Sex, and there will be times when it is appropriate for a Princess to be assertive enough to get exactly what she wants when she wants it. There will also be moments of truth when they both feel that her power is very real.

But as shown by the above discussion, Princess Power does not dominate the Devotional dynamic. If you were to watch a Devotee couple in bed, most of the time things would look like a `normal´ non-Devotee couple where each person had an equal say.

What would be missing compared to the `normal´ sex of some non-Devotees are times when the male uses forceful actions to get what he wants. With Devotional Sex a Knight would never push his Princess's head down towards his Desire as a `demand´ for oral sex, and he would never forcefully start intercourse before his Princess was wanting. Some `normal´ sex will at time look slightly abusive to someone more used to the more playful, erotic, and sensual dynamic of Devotees.

The main difference with Princess Power comes not from the few times it is used, but from how it and other parts of Devotional Sex changes the feel of the whole sexual dynamic. The Princess feels relaxed and confident about `suggesting´ something whenever she wishes, and her Knight becomes more sensitive to her needs so that most of her `suggestions´ are done not because he must, but because he wants to please her.

There is not much new that can be written about the normal negotiation that Devotee couples use in bed. The use of Princess Power is new, and hence, even though Princess Power only plays a small part in the overall dynamic, it forms a large part of this text.