2: Vanilla Sex
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Vanilla sexual activities
This section looks at how sexual activities are practiced within Vanilla Sex.
It also looks at how often these activities take place.
It also looks at how often these activities take place.
The way sexual activities are experienced in Vanilla Sex is heavily influenced by the attitudes the couple have about sex. These attitudes were the subject of the previous section.
The `normal´ stages of sexual arousal
There are five stages of sexual arousal in Vanilla Sex: Desire, Excitement, Plateau, Orgasm, and Resolution. (More)
Despite the fact that male orgasm and ejaculation are two different things, almost everybody, and most medical literature, thinks that male orgasm and ejaculation are two parts of the one process.
In Vanilla Sex the man almost always ejaculates when he has sexual activity, and his ejaculation ends the session. His ejaculatory orgasm is what he strives for and expects once he becomes sexually aroused, and he thinks of this as his main sexual pleasure. (More)
Female orgasm
The old view (which some still hold) is to ignore the possibility that a women might have or want an orgasm.
When the female orgasm is acknowledged the male may think that for her to enjoy sex, and for him to prove that he is a good lover, she must have an orgasm every time they have sex.
For most women both of the above scenarios are unsatisfactory. (More)
An aroused man likes having his erection held and played with, and doing this is usually fun for the woman.
In Vanilla Sex one problem is that at the beginning of arousal and activity, some women take too long before they first play with him. Another problem is that playing with him is seen as the start of sexual activities which must then move onwards until the male ejaculates. (More)
Playing with her vagina
The man playing with his partner's vagina includes both touching and rubbing on top, and inserting his fingers inside.
One common problem is that the man starts playing with her before she is aroused enough to enjoy it (so instead of pleasure it feels like a grope). In Vanilla Sex any playing is often only done in a fairly active and firm way with the intention of bringing her to orgasm. And as good communication is rare, the playing is usually not done in the way that the women would prefer. (More)
The crudest form of oral sex to the male is when the the women's mouth is used to replace her vagina for some rapid thrusting sex. Either she is expected to quickly bob her head up and down, or the man does the thrusting. This often requires the man to hold her head fairly firmly.
Thanks (not!) to adult films, many men think it is sexy to end by ejaculating all over their partner's face. (More)
Oral sex to the female
In Vanilla Sex when a man gives his partner oral sex it is usually done very actively to try to bring her quickly to orgasm. It is unusual for the oral sex last for more than a few minutes.
In Vanilla Sex it is very rare for a women to receive more oral sex than she gives him. (More)
With Vanilla thinking about sex, sex usually means intercourse. Everything else is `just foreplay´. The amount of foreplay often declines as a sexual relationship becomes more established, leave intercourse as the main sexual activity.
With Vanilla Sex intercourse is at its most basic, and consists of fairly rapid, forceful, thrusting. It is not uncommon for the man to ejaculate after only a few minutes. (More)
Anal sex
Anal sex (with the female receiving) used to a fairly taboo subject, and when talking about sex it still is. But anal sex has become such a common activity in adult videos that some men now expect to be able to enjoy anal sex with their partner.
There are two main problems arising from adult videos. The first is that it gives the impression that all women should enjoy anal sex and this should be a common activity. The second is that the way anal sex is done in adult videos is not the best way to enjoy it in real life. (More)
Talking dirty is using dirty words to talk about sex. When there is an underlying belief that sex is dirty, expressing this in taboo words can feel liberating and arousing. The underlying belief that sex is dirty is so common in some cultures, including the USA, that much advice on good sex includes good communication and expressing your feelings under the topic of talking dirty. (More)
Other people
Adultery is very common, and this is the main way that people experience sex outside their relationship.
Much less common than adultery is sex with a couple and another person (ie a threesome or more). When sexual activity takes place with three or more people it is common to go all the way. If there is no intercourse, there is still the expectation that once sexual activity starts it will lead to male ejaculation. Apart from cases of abuse, sexual activity with other people has the female(s) with some power over what happens, but the overall dynamic is still very male focused. (More)
