BDSM as an entry to Devotional Sex
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BDSM activity but an unwilling partner
Devotional
Sex may be the answer for a man who wants to enjoy a BDSM activity but has an unwilling partner.
There are many BDSM activities which fit into the dynamic of the dominant Mistress and her submissive.
It is not uncommon to read in BDSM groups on the Internet something like "How can I submit to my wife and get her to (insert activity)?"
It is clear that what the man really wants is to be `made to do´ the activity, and `submitting to his wife´ is wanting her to dominate him in the way he wants to be dominated.
In some cases a partner will be willing to help fulfill his fantasy. But of course the Internet postings are about the situations where the woman is not wanting to be his Mistress and is unwilling to fulfill their partner's fantasy.
Devotional Sex may be a way for a man to eventually be able to enjoy the BDSM activity with his partner. But using Devotional Sex to achieve this will require him to first make two big changes to the way he thinks.
The first big change is to accept that before he might get to enjoy his fantasy activity he will have to establish a mutually enjoyable and satisfying FemDom relationship.
The second big change is that he needs to focus on what will make his partner happy.
Most women do not want the role and responsibility of being a BDSM style Mistress.
But some women who don't want to be a Mistress may find the role of being a Devotional Sex Princess to be fun and fulfilling. This is because being a Princess does not require them to be dominant, and because Devotional Sex is such an effective way of creating and maintaining intimacy and connection.
To get to enjoy his BDSM activity via Devotional Sex, the man will have to forget that activity for a while (perhaps for many months) and to also forget about wanting his partner to be his BDSM style Mistress.
If, after exploring this site, he decides that being a Devotional Knight would be desirable, his focus for the next few months will be on developing a Devotional Relationship with his partner.
Devotional Sex will only work if the man is wanting it to work, and he is willing to put in the effort needed to become a Knight. And of course his partner will need to be wiling to explore Devotional Sex with him.
If both a willing to give it a go then both are likely to soon be enjoying the benefits and joys of being a Princess or a Knight.
For Devotional Sex to keep working both the Princess and her Knight must always be wanting to be a Princess or a Knight.
Thus an important part of being a Knight is ensuring that his Princess is enjoying her role.
For
example, in a Mistress and submissive relationship, when the submissive
is very horny and the Mistress is not wanting sex, the Mistress will get her way by dominating her submissive.
In Devotional Sex, when a Knight is very horny, and his Princess does not want any sexual activity that day, the Princess does not need to act or feel dominant to say to her Knight "just a cuddle tonight". The hard work of managing his erotic energy within Devotional Sex falls to the Knight as keeping his Princess happy means that he must accept his Princess's wish. He might have a very hard erection as he cuddles his Princess, but he must ensure that his Princess feels that he is happy to just cuddle.
In Devotional Sex, when a Knight is very horny, and his Princess does not want any sexual activity that day, the Princess does not need to act or feel dominant to say to her Knight "just a cuddle tonight". The hard work of managing his erotic energy within Devotional Sex falls to the Knight as keeping his Princess happy means that he must accept his Princess's wish. He might have a very hard erection as he cuddles his Princess, but he must ensure that his Princess feels that he is happy to just cuddle.
For a Princess to be able to continue to enjoy her role she must ensure that her Knight is always wanting to be her Knight.
Most of what the couple do will be mutually enjoyed. But one way of ensuring her Knight is kept happy is for a Princess to sometimes do some things which don't do much for her, but make her Knight very happy.
And this is where the BDSM activity finally becomes something which might happen.
Of course one possibility is that the Princess dislikes the BDSM activity so much that she chooses never to do it. In this case, if she wants to continue to be a Princess, she will need to ensure that her Knight is kept happy to be her Knight by doing some other activities.
If she does decide to partake in the BDSM activity it will only happen when she, as Princess, decides it will. And she will be in control of the activity, and so is able to stop it when she wishes.
A Knight being kept happy to be a Knight never means that he gets everything he desires. It just means that he gets to enjoy enough of his desires so that he is always wanting to remain a Knight (and not go back to a `normal´ sex life).
So it is unlike that a Knight will get to enjoy the BDSM activity as much as he would wish.
But, because his Princess is enjoying her role so much she is wanting to reward her Knight, when the activity does happen she will be a willing participant. And this will make the activity feel much more real and `enjoyable´ for both.
Learning more about Devotional Sex
You can read more about how Devotional Sex relates to the BDSM world in the rest of this chapter.
This includes other BDSM practices which may be an entry to Devotional Sex, as well as an explanation of why Devotional Sex is not BDSM.
Chapter One includes an Outline of Devotional Sex which not only gives an overview of Devotional Sex, but has links to the other chapters on this site.
Most of this site has been written so that the BDSM inspired parts of Devotional Sex (ie mild FemDom and ejaculation denial) are not threating to those unfamiliar with BDSM. Hence, compared to most writing about BDSM, this site appears very tame. But look underneath, and kinky people will realize that Devotional Sex is in reality fairly kinky.
